Elizabeth July 31st, 2007

In what I hope will be my final Big Brother post, I want to draw attention to the huge mess made of the voting process during last night’s Finale. From everything I’ve read tonight (at Behind Big Brother, the Ten forums and various blogs) I am of the opinion that the $450,000 was quite possibly awarded to the wrong person.

I was first suspicious of technical issues when I was woken by an SMS at 1:22am, telling me that voting had ended (and therefore, that my vote hadn’t been counted). My very last vote was sent at 8:15, half an hour before the voting lines closed, so the error wasn’t mine. As replies are only sent once per day (rather than once per vote) I have no way of knowing which of my votes contributed to the final outcome, only that I was charged for them.

Only 500 votes separated Zach and Aleisha when the lines closed, and at one point there was a difference of only 64 votes. Considering how many angry people are blogging and commenting about this screw-up, it’s not much of a stretch to suggest that Zach could have been the true winner last night. This scenario is further supported by the fact that rabid Zach fans were frantically trying to help him catch up to Aleisha, once their identities were revealed on the graphs.

I left a comment on Ten’s forums myself, which I’ll re-post here for the sake of the search engines. I’m happy to add to the pressure being directed towards Big Brother producers on this issue.

I am just another dissatisfied voter and viewer who is waiting for an appropriate response from Channel 10, Southern Star Endemol and Legion about the technical issues that resulted during last night’s Big Brother Finale.

I sent save and evict votes well in advance of the advertised closing time, as listed below:

“Aleisha” to 19927283 at 7:03pm
“Aleisha” to 19927283 at 7:04pm
“Aleisha” to 19927283 at 7:36pm
“Aleisha” to 19927283 at 7:36pm
“Aleisha” to 19927283 at 8:13pm
“Aleisha” to 19927283 at 8:13pm
“Aleisha” to 19927283 at 8:13pm
“Aleisha” to 19927283 at 8:14pm
“Zach” to 19938428 at 8:14pm
“Zach” to 19938428 at 8:15pm
“Zach” to 19938428 at 8:15pm
“Zach” to 19938428 at 8:15pm

At 7:14pm, 10 minutes after my first two votes, I received the following SMS from Big Brother:

BB: Thanks for your vote! U won’t receive any further replies. For all the BB action and goss watch TEN weeknights at 7:00 or go 2 bigbrother.3mobile.com.au

It is interesting to note that my successful vote/s were sent before the graphs were revealed to viewers, complete with the names of the housemates that belonged to each value.

Thinking that everything was fine, I continued to send save and evict votes until 8:15pm, noting that the lines closed at 8:45pm. Although I was frustrated by the length of time taken to announce the winner, I accepted that recounting was necessary to ensure that the right person was evicted. I was satisfied that, if nothing else, at least my votes were being counted and would contribute meaningfully to the outcome.

At 1:22am this morning I received the following SMS from Big Brother:

BB: The voting period is now offline! For all the BB action and goss watch TEN weeknights at 7:00 or go 2 bigbrother.3mobile.com.au

I have no way of knowing which of my votes were counted, and which fell victim to the clogged lines. All I know for sure is that I have been charged for all of these votes, and that at least one of them (but realistically, probably several of them) did not contribute to the outcome of the Big Brother Finale.

Considering that only 500 votes separated the winner from the runner up, and that at one point during the show only 64 votes separated them, it is safe to say that the technical issues have potentially affected the outcome of Big Brother 2007. I believe that there is a strong possibility that $450,000 has been awarded to the wrong person.

I acknowledge that technical issues can happen, but I believe that they were completely preventable in the case of last night’s finale. I was disgusted at the blatant money-grabbing tactics of the producers in deciding to name the final 2 housemates on the voting graphs throughout the show, and believe that this decision altered the outcome significantly. If the number of complaints on this forum (and others) are anything to go by, the revenue raised by last-minute voters was astronomical and I have no faith that the money I spent resulted in meaningful votes.

I only hope that the extra revenue raised by greedy Big Brother producers compensates for the lack of faith that I now have in the integrity of the process.

And my response to another poster, shortly after:

fireit wrote: I think the underlying thing out of all of this is that it affected _everyone_. It’s not just one person’s evict / save votes were lost.

I understand your point, fireit, but I think your comment oversimplifies things. I don’t think we can ignore the impact that the graphs had on the type of votes received during those last couple of hours, as Zach fans tried to frantically catch him up to Aleisha.

For what it’s worth, I was voting to save Aleisha and evict Zach and therefore got the outcome that I wanted. However, I strongly suspect that Zach would have won the series had the votes been tallied correctly and that the $450,000 has been awarded to the wrong person.

If the possibility of this exists, I think we have a responsibility to apply pressure to those responsible and make sure that Zach receives an equal prize.

So there, that’s what I think. Considering the way that Big Brother producers have treated its viewers like complete idiots this year, I’m more than happy to make some noise about this.

On a lighter note…

If my site stats are anything to go by, the 2007 version of the Big Brother Turkey Slap is the “Chicken Slap”. Google is a beautiful thing.

boadie throwing the chicken at gretel
big brother final bodie throwing chicken
gretel big brother chicken
gretel bodie chicken
bodie gretel head rubber chicken
gretel bodie chicken slap
Bodie Big Brother chicken Gretel
Gretel Rubber Chicken

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Elizabeth July 31st, 2007

I’m really glad that I discovered The Fishbowl tonight, before writing my autopsy of last night’s Big Brother Finale. Not only has Charles saved me the time and energy of putting the disaster into words myself, but he summed it up with more humour than I could have mustered. My spirit is officially broken, but his post said it all:

You know how the English version of The Office was funny, the way it made you cringe so much that it was stomach-churningly painful even while you were laughing your ass off? That’s how it felt watching Gretel more and more desperately trying to find ways to vamp out that last hour, her already artificial smile getting thinner and thinner as she played for time interviewing whoever stood closest to her, as they successively showed all the video packages they had prepared for the night, while the show fell apart around her.

It was frustrating. It was comical. It was an exercise in just how wrong live TV can go if you’re performing without a net. The least-watched series in the show’s history was capped by an unwatchable finale. Bravo.

Next year, I say, take another hour. Take two. Have the DJ do a whole set. Interview all the housemates again, plus every past-season housemate you can get on a last-minute hospital pass satellite hook-up. Replay every single highlight you can find in the archives. Announce who won UK Big Brother, and see if anyone notices the difference. Make the audience form conga-lines to spell out their favourite housemates. Hold an impromptu game of charades. Interview everyone again but make the entire cast and crew do a tequila shot every time someone says it was “just a great experience”, or that it “changed their life”. Show a montage of Gretel’s less fortunate wardrobe choices over Green Day’s Time of your life. Bus strippers up from the Gold Coast. Dancing bears. Contortionists. Elephants.

Read his full post at The Fishbowl, or watch the following video to see Bodie throwing a rubber chicken at Gretel’s head. Either way, it’s better than watching the show.

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Elizabeth July 27th, 2007

A few months ago (in a password-protected part of the web far, far away) I wrote the following post.

Some people disappear into their TVs during soccer season. Other people live and breathe cricket (although that condition is very serious and probably has a very long name ending in “-chosis”). Football season is understandable when it’s AFL, because of those tight little shorts and sleeveless jerseys (put an AFL player next to an American footballer and then tell me which is the better spectator sport).

Such pursuits are very noble and all, but they’re just not my thing. Big Brother is my season. And before you Americans rush off to delete me from your bookmarks, remember that our show is approximately 9472658x better than the disaster that gets served up in your country.

Big Brother is the thinking man’s television. It’s poetry; it’s culture. Big Brother is art for the masses, perhaps more Jackson Pollock than Renoir, but nevertheless speaking wisdom through our TV screens. Its cast members go on to become productive, benevolent members of Australian society – humanitarians and defenders of the downtrodden who work tirelessly without recognition. Before dismissing the importance of this institution, ask yourself what contributions you have made to the betterment of our nation in the past year.

More reasons to watch:

* Gretel has a new stylist. That should be reason enough.
* Big Brother is routinely discussed in Parliament, so you’ll be better informed come election time
* You won’t be left out of lunchtime discussions at work

And so, I am saying farewell for the next few months. I don’t wish to be the sort of un-Australian viewer who fits Big Brother around their existing priorities – Big Brother is a lifestyle and a commitment I intend to see through to the end. We have a responsibility as viewers to watch all 19-20 hours of weekly broadcasts, and anything less is simply a slap in the face to the mission of these brave crusaders.

But this is not goodbye, just “see you soon”. Probably sooner than you think, with plenty of discussion about the show! Please feel free to share your support and excitement in the comments.

Too much? Probably. But I was genuinely looking forward to this season of Big Brother and indulging my voyeuristic side. I have fond memories of earlier seasons, where the cast was made up of normal people who sat around and talked about normal stuff. It was uncomplicated, it was addictive, and it worked.

The person who knew that best of all was the show’s original Executive Producer and voice of Big Brother, Peter Abbott. In an interview with ABC’s Media Report on Radio National in 2002, he said the following:

Peter Abbott: There’s a lot of temptation to produce, but you’ve got to resist it. The whole process is one of creating an environment and then seeing what happens, and the nice thing is that it sometimes rewards you with something that’s far better than you could have ever imagined.

Back in the days of Peter Abbott the show was simple and transparent, and they were rewarded with great ratings and a loyal following. Most of all, the concept of the show was pure: Put 15-20 strangers in a house, cut off their contact to the outside world, let them interact and film them while they do it. And most importantly, guide them with weekly tasks but interfere as little as possible.

What resulted was a beautiful little social experiment, and viewers had front row seats. As viewers we could consider and discuss the relationships and events in the house with our friends, confident that what we had seen was unabridged and unproduced. In those early days the show was very transparent, and they weren’t trying so hard to make it into something it was not. It seemed easier to connect to the cast members, and identify with them.

With Kris Noble as EP, the true meaning of Big Brother has slowly been eroded. Over the past few years there have been fewer natural cast members, and too many famewhores. Simple tasks have been replaced with complicated themes, usually with no tangible end product and very little pay-off for the viewers. It seems that producers are only interested in creating enough content for their 22-minute daily shows, and are relying on SMS games and repetitive montages to fill in the remaining airtime.

Remember when housemates would auction off one of their belongings after their eviction for charity? When people cared enough to own the rug from the knitting task, or somebody’s guitar? I can’t imagine anybody bidding on stuff belonging to this year’s housemates, because we simply don’t care about them. Except for medical science, who are probably interested in the functioning portions of Michelle’s brain.

Speaking of Michelle…

Never before have I wished for a ratings box, purely so that I could protest with my remote control. None of my BB-watching friends could bring themselves to turn on the TV for her final 2 weeks in the house, despite being interested in how the others were going.

I wanted to like this year’s show, but with just a few days to go I don’t care. Not about the housemates, the outcome, or next year’s show.

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Elizabeth July 27th, 2007

The internet is giving away free crack cocaine, and its codename is Facebook.

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Elizabeth July 24th, 2007

I can’t believe I spent so much time blogging in support of Schapelle Corby when she was sentenced to 20 years in prison for a crime she (very probably) didn’t commit. I mean, it turns out that prison life has been horribly misrepresented by the press all this time – it’s more like an Academy of the Arts!

Or maybe just in the Philippines, where Thriller comes alive in at least one shade of orange:

1,500 plus CPDRC inmates of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center, Cebu, Philippines at practice! This is not the final routine, and definitely not a punishment! just a teaser.

… although the dude in the halterneck gets pretty disturbing by the end.

There’s a whole treasure chest of choreographed inmate goodness waiting for you on youtube. Check out Radio Gaga (comes complete with hi-tech picture-in-picture) and I Will Follow Him (from Sister Act – Bonus points for the habit!).

Don’t leave without seeing The Algorithm March, which was apparently a world record-breaking performance.

And finally, thanks to the power of Youtube’s “related search” feature, view The Algorithm March with ninjas! (I recommend watching this for the subtitles, and to see how the actions connect all the participants.)

This is by far the coolest random Youtube discovery all year.

Everything is funnier with ninjas.

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Elizabeth July 23rd, 2007

Further to my last post, in which I exposed myself as a filthy I Can Has Cheezburger? fan, I present The Lolcat Bible.

Don’t try and read this version, like I did. Click on the picture for a larger, detailed version (for maximum lulz). Opens in a new window.

Thank you to Ralf for sending me to Not A Blog, where I discovered the fine work of Ted Stoltz – creator of the picture above. Follow the link to find out what lolcats are, what he thinks of the whole nonsense, and what on earth possessed him to translate the first page of Genesis into kitty pidgin.

And now if you’ll excuse me I need to go kick my own arse for using “lulz” in a post. Just trying to fit in, y’know.

EDIT:

Tim: you did not just type “lulz” in a blog entry
Tim: never ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER do that again
Tim: or i will leave you.
Tim: i am serious
Elizabeth: keep reading, I repent!
Tim:

Phew, lolcats almost ruined my life! That’s not a lulzing matter

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Elizabeth July 18th, 2007

My guilty pleasure? Lolcats. There, now you know. There’s an awful lot of crap out there, but when I encounter a truly great cat macro I pretty much don’t stop laughing for 5 minutes.

Like tonight, when I saw this:

I could post about 50 more that I love just as much, but I’ll spare you. If you have a favourite, show me in the comments!

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Elizabeth July 18th, 2007

via roflsaurus.com

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Elizabeth July 18th, 2007

Pagans have pledged to perform “rain magic” to wash away a cartoon character painted next to their famous fertility symbol – the Cerne Abbas giant.

A doughnut-brandishing Homer Simpson was painted next to the giant on the hill above Cerne Abbas, Dorset, to promote the new Simpsons film.

Many believe the ancient chalk outline of the naked, sexually aroused giant to be a symbol of ancient spirituality.

Many couples also believe the 180ft carving aids fertility.

The painted Simpsons character has been painted with water-based biodegradable paint which will wash away as soon as it rains.

Ann Bryn-Evans, joint Wessex district manager for The Pagan Federation, said: “We were hoping for some dry weather but I think I have changed my mind.

“We’ll be doing some rain magic to bring the rain and wash it away.”

She added: “I’m amazed they got permission to do something so ridiculous. It’s an area of scientific interest.”

It is not the first time the giant has been used to advertise products. He has been used to promote items as diverse as condoms, jeans and bicycles.

Mike Webb, landlord of the New Inn in Cerne Abbas, said his staff were amused by the temporary addition to the village.

“I think it is different and unusual,” he said. “We’ve not heard any complaints here so far, but I’m not sure many of the local people will know who Homer Simpson is.”

During World War II, the Cerne giant was disguised to prevent the Germans from using him as an aerial landmark.

Since then he has always been visible, receiving regular grass trimming and a full re-chalking every 25 years.

There is debate among experts about when the giant was created varying from thousands of years ago to as recently as the 17th Century.

Source: BBC News

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, somebody had to take it one step further…

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Elizabeth July 17th, 2007

Discovered these at You Can’t Coach That, and some of them are so good that I had to repost them here.

1. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?
2. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a use by date?
3. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which no-one ever uses because it burns your toast to a horrible black crisp no one would eat?
4. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”?
5. What do people in China call their good plates?
6. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
7. If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong? Ed: Yep.
8. Why is it that when someone tells you that there’s billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there’s wet paint somewhere you have to touch it to see if they are telling the truth?
9. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

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Elizabeth July 15th, 2007

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Elizabeth July 14th, 2007

In light of the recent troubles in the Northern Territory, it’s a relief to know that local government is taking its responsibilities seriously. Phew, now we can all relax!

Darwin’s lord mayor has been found guilty of using stolen council funds to buy a fridge, underwear and a Darth Vader voice distorter.

Peter Adamson, who has been on leave of absence since December, today maintained his innocence and refused to resign from his elected position.

“I know, myself, that I at no stage stole or have been dishonest,” he told reporters outside court.

Adamson, 47, a former Country Liberal Party (CLP) minister in the Northern Territory government, was found guilty today in Darwin Magistrates Court of two of the four charges against him, including stealing and making a false statement in declaration.

The court found the mayor went on a “spending spree” with stolen council funds less than 24 hours before the end of the 2005/06 financial year, buying a $910 fridge and $1,800 worth of gift vouchers.

The fridge turned up in an East Timorese thrift store about four months later, while police found most of the items bought with the gift vouchers – including women’s underwear, the Star Wars character voice distorter, and a punching bag – at Adamson’s home or his council office.

Adamson signed a declaration last October in which he claimed to have donated the fridge to a “needy family” through St Vincent de Paul.

He also claimed to have given the gift vouchers to various organisations for the purpose of fundraising.

Read the rest at SMH.

More updates when I’m done weeping for the future of Australia.

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Elizabeth July 11th, 2007

There are some hilarious moments in this clip, although I sort of lost all sympathy for the guy the 28th time he said “thank you”.

Spotted at duncanriley.com

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Elizabeth July 10th, 2007

I came across The Hype Machine today, via Josh Spear, and decided more people should know about it. The Hype Machine tracks what’s happening on music blogs and creates regularly updated links to music that’s being shared. It’s a great way to discover new music, and if you’re a non-US resident who is missing Pandora as much as me it might help to dull that pain a little.

Apart from being a straight index of music, it also provides streaming radio to give you a good taste of what’s being discussed and shared online. They also provide links to amazon, emusic and itunes so that you can easily purchase the music, and a great search engine to help you find what you’re looking for. In particular, it appears to be useful for tracking down obscure B-sides and live bootlegs that can be difficult to find.

As a blogger who pays for her own hosting, I was initially a bit concerned about the impact that The Hype Machine could have on me if I was to be indexed. A quick glance at their About page told me that they cache any tracks that become popular to ease the load on our servers. I’m not entirely sure that this site won’t land you in serious legal trouble if you habitually share entire albums, but as long as you’re doing the right thing it appears to be harmless.

Have fun finding new music!

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Elizabeth July 9th, 2007

I normally detest forwarded email jokes, but every now and then I flick through them and find something worthwhile. This made me laugh, but then I am taking potentially illegal doses of Sudafed right now…

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas’ pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident… Enjoy!

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

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