Calls for Australia Day to be abolished
Elizabeth January 16th, 2008
In what could be considered his most controversial suggestion ever, Sam Kekovich — Australia’s lamb ambassador — will be calling for Australia Day to be abolished.
In his hugely anticipated 2008 address to the nation Sam will express his desire to have Australia Day scrapped…and replaced with Australia Week.
“It is my solemn duty to inform you that it’s time to abolish Australia Day. Our annual lamb fest hasn’t stopped unAustralianism racing through the land like horse flu through a Japanese jockey club,” Sam says.
“Australia Day has had its day. We need Australia Week — a seven day lamb-athon to properly celebrate our great nation.
“Instead of one public holiday, we need seven. Instead of one lamb barbie, we need 21 lamb meal opportunities - not including snacks.”
In a bold move, Sam plans to take his message straight to the top — to the Prime Minister — and has asked for the help of ordinary Australians to help the message get through.
“I’ll be petitioning our new PM to officially recognise Australia Week,” Sam says.
“Stack the fridge full of lamb, take the week off, and celebrate with me. Any boss that won’t let you is a bum. Just chuck a week of sickies instead — what could be more Australian than that?”
Sam’s call to can Australia’s national day is just the tip of the iceberg, with well known footballers, New Zealand’s Prime Minister and “weed worshippers” all copping a spray in his annual address.
Here’s what he’s had to say in the past:
Australia Day 2007
Australia Day 2006:
Christmas 2005
Australia Day 2005 (in which Sam angers several minority groups in under 2 minutes)
I can’t write too much about our plans here just yet, because I have a few surprises up my sleeve for Tim’s first Australia Day. All I’ll say is that it will be AWESOME, and that there will be no shortage of lamb chops!
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- Comments(9)
So will you be making a week of it?
I laughed and laughed when I first heard his dead pan advert in 2006. I had never heard of him prior to this. He is an absolute classic.
I’m all for Australia Week.
Being as unemployed as I am, I fully support turning my first Australia Day into Australia Week. I’ll remember to buy the slabs of VB so you don’t have to embarrass yourself.
Duncan: I’m all for it! I’m buying a new Weber especially for the big day, so why not cook all 21 lamb meals on it?
I was a bit concerned about the prospect of eating lamb for breakfast, but then I remembered lamb sausages. I’m READY.
Tim: I worry about you carrying TWO cartons home from the bottle shop, since there’s no way in hell I’ll be drinking that shit!
Oh well. You’ll manage.
Great post. I had a great laugh. Thank you! =p
I support the Aussie week thing if I’m going to get double pay on all seven days. Otherwise, I’m content with one lambchop dinner.
He;s always good for a great laugh…and of course we have the freezer stocked with lamb.
Just don’t watch the movie Black Sheep LOL.
[...] then. You’ll find us sitting out under the tree in the backyard, drinking beer, turning the lamb chops and listening to Triple J’s Hottest 100. I’m pretty sure Tim won’t forget his [...]