Elizabeth January 16th, 2008

In what could be considered his most controversial suggestion ever, Sam Kekovich — Australia’s lamb ambassador — will be calling for Australia Day to be abolished.

In his hugely anticipated 2008 address to the nation Sam will express his desire to have Australia Day scrapped…and replaced with Australia Week.

“It is my solemn duty to inform you that it’s time to abolish Australia Day. Our annual lamb fest hasn’t stopped unAustralianism racing through the land like horse flu through a Japanese jockey club,” Sam says.

“Australia Day has had its day. We need Australia Week — a seven day lamb-athon to properly celebrate our great nation.

“Instead of one public holiday, we need seven. Instead of one lamb barbie, we need 21 lamb meal opportunities – not including snacks.”

In a bold move, Sam plans to take his message straight to the top — to the Prime Minister — and has asked for the help of ordinary Australians to help the message get through.

“I’ll be petitioning our new PM to officially recognise Australia Week,” Sam says.

“Stack the fridge full of lamb, take the week off, and celebrate with me. Any boss that won’t let you is a bum. Just chuck a week of sickies instead — what could be more Australian than that?”

Sam’s call to can Australia’s national day is just the tip of the iceberg, with well known footballers, New Zealand’s Prime Minister and “weed worshippers” all copping a spray in his annual address.

Here’s what he’s had to say in the past:

Australia Day 2007

Australia Day 2006:

Christmas 2005

Australia Day 2005 (in which Sam angers several minority groups in under 2 minutes)

I can’t write too much about our plans here just yet, because I have a few surprises up my sleeve for Tim’s first Australia Day. All I’ll say is that it will be AWESOME, and that there will be no shortage of lamb chops!

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