xkcd: A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math and language
Elizabeth February 29th, 2008
I am loving this comic so much right now. I’ve been sitting here hitting ‘random’ for 20 mins, and it’s nothing but gold.
Archive for February, 2008
China recycling used condoms as cheap hair bands
Elizabeth February 29th, 2008
Used condoms in southern China are being recycled into hair bands and they are selling well in local markets and beauty salons.
But they could spread sexually-transmittable diseases the condoms were originally meant to prevent, state media reported today.
Rubber hair bands have been found in local markets and beauty salons in Dongguan and Guangzhou cities in southern Guangdong province, China Daily newspaper said.
“These cheap and colourful rubber bands and hair ties sell well … threatening the health of local people,” it said.
Despite being recycled, the hair bands could still contain bacteria and viruses, it said.
“People could be infected with AIDS, warts or other diseases if they hold the rubber bands or strings in their mouths while waving their hair into plaits or buns,” the paper quoted a local dermatologist as saying.
A bag of ten of the recycled bands sells much cheaper than others on the market, accounting for their popularity, the paper said.
China’s manufacturing industry has been repeatedly tarnished this year by a string of scandals involving shoddy or dangerous goods made for both domestic and foreign markets.
From The Age, via Meg at Dipping Into the Blogpond
I’m speechless again, which makes for terrible blogging.
So it’s over to you guys: what would you do with the used condoms of 1,321,851,888 people? Let’s see if we can drag standards just a little lower!
Forwarded Email of the Day
Elizabeth February 29th, 2008
I’m not sure that I quite believe the source of this letter, given that it’s full of British spelling, but it’s funny all the same!
This is a letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph.
PC Magazine’s 2007 editors’ choice for best web mail-award-winning letter.
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your ‘Always’ maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core or Dry-Weave absorbency, I’d probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favourite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can’t tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse’? I’m guessing you haven’t. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed into what my husband likes to call an inbred hillbilly with knife skills. Isn’t the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, Mr. Thatcher, you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers monthly visits from ‘Aunt Flo’. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control, maniacal behaviour.
You surely realize it’s a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend’s testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey’s Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants…
Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: ‘Have a Happy Period.’
Are you fucking kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager male brain really think happiness – actual smiling, laughing happiness – is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you’re some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything ‘happy’ about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don’t march down to the local Walgreen’s armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out of your ass, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn’t it make more sense to say something that’s actually pertinent, like ‘Put down the Hammer’ or ‘ Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong’, or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that’s a promise I will keep. Always.
Best, Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX
Not that I would know anything about the emotions she’s describing. Nope, not me.
No, siree.
Early Easter
Elizabeth February 28th, 2008
I knew Easter felt early this year, but I didn’t know why until I found this explanation from Somebody Unfamous.
Easter is always the 1st Sunday after the 1st full moon after the Spring Equinox, putting Easter on March 23 this year.
(the Spring Equinox occurs March 20)This dating of Easter is based on the lunar calendar that Hebrew people used to identify Passover, which is why it moves around on our Roman calendar. Easter can actually be one day earlier (March 22) but that is pretty rare.
This year is the earliest Easter any of us will ever see the rest of our lives! Only the most elderly of our population have ever seen it this early (95 years old or above!). Moreover, none of us has ever, or will ever, see it a day earlier!
Here are the facts:
The next time Easter will be this early (March 23) will be the year 2228 (220 years from now). The last time it was this early was 1913 (so if you’re 95 or older, you are the only ones that were around for that!).
The next time it will be a day earlier, March 22, will be in the year 2285 (277 years from now). The last time it was on March 22 was 1818. Therefore, no one alive today has or will ever see it any earlier than this year!
I think trivia like this is taking up all the useful parts of my brain. Ah well. This was just a thinly-veiled excuse to post a picture of chocolate anyway…
(Did I mention that February is my chocolate-free month this year?)
#18 – Teach myself to use Excel
Elizabeth February 27th, 2008
Part of my 101 Things in 1001 Days challenge.
I can finally hand in my tattered membership card to the “I can’t use Excel” club!
Against all the odds, I’m crossing this one off my list. I managed to fight all the barriers that stood in my way (procrastination, reality tv, lack of giveashit) and figure out why people are so into this spreadsheet fad.
Actually, I admit that Excel is kind of cool. I’ve never had to use it at work, and never saw a purpose for it in my personal life, so it’s just one of those things I never got around to. But now that I’ve seen all the awesome stuff it can do, I’m spreadsheeting everything to the point that I think I might have a bit of a problem.
This morning I woke up at 5am, unable to fall back asleep because I couldn’t stop thinking about a new idea for a spreadsheet. I ended up getting out of bed and creating an exercise-tracking, diet-watching masterpiece that would bring a tear to your eye! And although my new hobby might be bordering on obsessive compulsion, at least it’s fun.
See? (Identifying figures removed!)
If that’s not the most incredible weight-loss graph you’ve ever seen… well, I’ll eat my hat. In fact, let me just create a spreadsheet for Hats forcibly consumed in 2008 just in case, ok?
OK.
Don’t kill your dog with kindness (please read)
Elizabeth February 27th, 2008
Never feed your dog the following foods: grapes, raisins, sultanas, onions, macadamias, chocolate, garlic, coffee or fruit pips.
To find out more, read on.
It’s a rare pet owner who doesn’t slip his critter the occasional treat. Our pets add so much to the quality of our lives that we look for ways to return the kindness, or to at least impart some measure of thanks for all they do. Yet though the urge to do good is there, the mechanism often isn’t.
Humans and the pets they keep have widely differing views on what constitutes welcome rewards or recognitions. Your dog, for instance, wouldn’t think much of a thank-you card, nor would your cat feel properly appreciated were he the recipient of a dozen roses presented in a nice vase. (Likewise, you would probably feel far less than delighted by the gift of a headless mouse.)
Yet food transcends the species. Almost every creature we would think to keep as a companion appears to take some delight in eating, so a gift of tasty yet out-of-the-ordinary ingestibles becomes a workable way of communicating “I love you,” “Well done!” or just “Thanks.” Unfortunately, good intentions can have deadly consequences when pet owners make the mistake of assuming all their favorite snacks are also suitable for their animals.
via Snopes
Word is spreading that dogs and onions don’t mix. Even so, Harry and I had to learn this the hard way after a big meal of bolognaise sauce a few years ago. There’s nothing like seeing your living room floor covered in blood-filled pee to make you remember that rule.
Harry was fine, although he risked acute renal failure and was very anaemic for about a week. Had I hesitated before taking him to the vet he might not be with us.
Somehow after 18 years of dog ownership no vet had ever warned me about the dangers of onion. This week I discovered a few more human foods that are also potentially fatal to dogs.
Please read the list, and pass the information on to any dog owners that you know. I’m living proof that a responsible pet owner can be completely ignorant, and risk making a horrible mistake.
ONION AND GARLIC
It doesn’t take much onion to kill a small dog, and repeated small doses are just as harmful as a single large dose.
Onions and garlic are other dangerous food ingredients that cause sickness in dogs, cats and also livestock. Onions and garlic contain the toxic ingredient thiosulphate. Onions are more of a danger.
Pets affected by onion toxicity will develop haemolytic anaemia, where the pet’s red blood cells burst while circulating in its body.
At first, pets affected by onion poisoning show gastroenteritis with vomiting and diarrhoea. They will show no interest in food and will be dull and weak. The red pigment from the burst blood cells appears in an affected animal’s urine and it becomes breathless. The breathlessness occurs because the red blood cells that carry oxygen through the body are reduced in number.
GRAPES, RAISINS AND SULTANAS
This was news to me until a few days ago. Harry always whines at me when I eat grapes, so I’ve slipped him quite a few over the years. Once again, I had absolutely no idea that I was feeding something that could cause his kidneys to fail.
The database showed that dogs who ate the grapes and raisins typically vomited within a few hours of ingestion. Most of the time, partially digested grapes and raisins could be seen in the vomit, fecal material, or both. At this point, some dogs would stop eating (anorexia), and develop diarrhea. The dogs often became quiet and lethargic, and showed signs of abdominal pain. These clinical signs lasted for several days – sometimes even weeks.
When medical care was sought, blood chemistry panels showed consistent patterns. Hypercalcemia (elevated blood calcium levels) was frequently present, as well as elevated levels of blood urea nitrogen, creatinine and phosphorous (substances that reflect kidney function). These chemistries began to increase anywhere from 24 hours to several days after the dogs ate the fruit. As the kidney damage developed, the dogs would produce little urine. When they could no longer produce urine, death occurred. In some cases, dogs who received timely veterinary care still had to be euthanized.
It’s crazy that an everyday fruit can have such dire consequences for a domestic animal. I wonder how many people know about it? That article goes on to say that pesticides, heavy metals and fungal contaminants have been ruled out as the cause of grapes’ toxicity, so it’s something to do with the grape itself.
MACADAMIAS
The toxic compound is unknown but the affect of macadamia nuts is to cause locomotory difficulties. Dogs develop a tremor of the skeletal muscles, and weakness or paralysis of the hindquarters. Affected dogs are often unable to rise and are distressed, usually panting. Some affected dogs have swollen limbs and show pain when the limbs are manipulated.
Dogs have been affected by eating as few as six macadamia kernels (nuts without the shell) while others had eaten approximately forty kernels.
CHOCOLATE
Most dog owners already know that dogs shouldn’t eat chocolate, but here’s why. Chocolate contains theobromine, a compound that is a cardiac stimulant and a diuretic.
When affected by an overdose of chocolate, a dog can become excited and hyperactive. Due to the diuretic effect, it may pass large volumes of urine and it will be unusually thirsty. Vomiting and diarrhoea are also common. The effect of theobromine on the heart is the most dangerous effect. Theobromine will either increase the dog’s heart rate or may cause the heart to beat irregularly. Death is quite possible, especially with exercise.
After their pet has eaten a large quantity of chocolate, many pet owners assume their pet is unaffected. However, the signs of sickness may not be seen for several hours, with death following within twenty-four hours.
Cooking chocolate and cocoa are the most toxic forms of chocolate to a dog, so something like mud cake is a real landmine. A dog has to eat a fair amount of milk chocolate to be affected, but I have a policy of never buying “doggy chocolate” treats so that he doesn’t develop a taste for it.
OTHER DANGERS
According to Petalia, these are some of the other human foods and household items that are especially toxic to dogs:
- Pear pips, the kernels of plums, peaches and apricots, apple core pips (contain cyanogenic glycosides resulting in cyanide posioning)
- Potato peelings and green looking potatoes
- Rhubarb leaves
- Mouldy/spoiled foods (duh!)
- Alcohol
- Yeast dough
- Coffee grounds, beans & tea (caffeine)
- Hops (used in home brewing)
- Tomato leaves & stems (green parts)
- Broccoli (in large amounts)
- Cigarettes, tobacco, cigars
The Pet Center adds the following:
- Mothballs, potpourri oils, homemade play dough, fabric softener sheets, dishwashing detergent & batteries could be dangerous for your pet.
- Be aware of the plants you have in your home and yard. The ingestion of azalea, oleander, sago palm or yew plant material by your pet can be fatal. Easter lily, day lily, tiger lily and some other lily species can cause kidney failure in cats.
- Be alert for antifreeze/coolant leaking from your vehicle. Animals are attracted to the sweet taste and ingesting just a small amount can cause an animal’s death. Consider using animal-friendly products that use propylene glycol rather than those containing ethylene glycol.
If you’ve read this far, thank you! Don’t forget to tell other pet owners about this post, so that we can raise awareness of these foods. It’s not my usual style to embark upon a crusade like this, but what’s more important than protecting the animals who can’t take care of themselves?
- Harry , Life , Stuff
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Human kindness is overflowing
Elizabeth February 26th, 2008
I’ve always loved the song I Think It’s Going To Rain Today by Randy Newman; it’s usually one of the first songs I play when I sit down at the piano for a self-indulgent “session”. I’m pretty sure I heard Bette Midler perform it first on Beaches, and I love both versions equally for different reasons.
So when I came across this video tonight on An Unsuspecting Notebook, there’s no way I could keep it to myself! It’s simple and beautiful, and puts a new spin on a song I’ve loved for 20 years.
Enjoy.
Woman hangs from tree, gives birth
Elizabeth February 26th, 2008
A pregnant Papua New Guinea woman who hung from a tree after being accused of sorcery gave birth to her baby while struggling to free herself, local media reports.
Nolan Yekum and her husband Paul were dragged from their house and hung from a tree by fellow tribesmen who accused them of sorcery after the couple’s neighbour suddenly died.
Their ordeal occurred in Kilip village near Banz in Western Highlands Province, PNG’s newspaper The National reported today.
The woman and her newborn baby girl, her third child, were doing well in Mt Hagen Hospital after two weeks in hiding, the report said.
Her husband said men entered their house in the middle of the night with a rope and tied it to their necks, accusing them of sorcery over their neighbour’s death.
They were dragged outside and hung from a tree, he said.
“We managed to loosen the noose to get our feet on the ground … we were able to free ourselves.
“My wife, who was about seven months pregnant, delivered the baby while struggling to free herself.
“It was a painful experience for me and her,” Yekum said.
He said he pleaded with fellow villagers to wait for his neighbour’s post-mortem and he accused local police of failing to act.
The couple vehemently denied practising sorcery.
I don’t have the words.
Jimmy Kimmel responds to Sarah Silverman
Elizabeth February 26th, 2008
Remember a few weeks ago, when Sarah Silverman was a guest on Jimmy Kimmel’s show? She used the opportunity to announce that she was cheating on him with Matt Damon, and the resulting video became hugely popular on YouTube.
Here’s the clip, in case you missed it:
Jimmy finally responded on his post-Oscars show last night. Some of the cameos in this video are awesome, but I think Brad Pitt and McLovin probably top the list.
As soon as a non-bleeped version appears on YouTube I’ll update this post, but until then it’s mostly “safe for work”.
Baby Engrish!
Elizabeth February 26th, 2008
Shamelessly stolen from Jus.
This has got to be the cutest video on YouTube. Bet you can’t resist retting her into your heart!
If you’re not into babies singing Beatles tunes, maybe hotchickswithdouchebags.com is more your style?
Garfield minus Garfield
Elizabeth February 25th, 2008
Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life?
Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness and methamphetamine addiction in a quiet American suburb.
I know Tim can’t stand Garfield – I wonder if he’ll like it better this way? Either way, this is so going on my rss reader!
Thanks to Patrick for the link.
Happy birthday, little woof.
Elizabeth February 24th, 2008
The little piglet turned six today! We celebrated late this afternoon with a run around the park, and a few photos.
Harry’s park duties are varied, but he always executes them with enthusiasm. Today’s main task was to profile the attributes of every passing dog’s butt, and file the details away for future reference. The secret to a well-oiled park community is diligent perimeter control, and Harry takes his self-appointed role of law enforcement very seriously.
He was simply born to fight crime. And birdies.
He also managed to cover three more critical Park Administration duties: 1) the ambitious task of peeing on every blade of grass; 2) disobeying any command that did not immediately benefit him; and 3) rolling in every dusty patch of dirt possible.
(Incidentally, Harry is yet to establish a connection between rolling in the dirt, and the dreaded “bathtime”. I predict that the de-dirting procedure will occur, when he leasts expects it, tomorrow.)
When we came home I cooked him a big bowl of warm chicken, rice and pumpkin, which is his most favourite meal ever. He has now passed out beside me with a big, satisfied, round belly.
So far, being six is pretty good.
Happy birthday, little bug. We love you ♥
Just a quickie…
Elizabeth February 23rd, 2008
I don’t have time to write much tonight, but it’s been a few days without a post and I wanted to share a few great links with you guys.
Art by yumiyumi
Crystal Perch
I’ve sort of fallen in love with Aline (Yumi) Yamada, a Brazilian artist and illustrator who now lives in Columbus Ohio. I’m drawn to anything that features retro and/or stylized birds and trees, but I also love her cute girl illustrations. Check out her Etsy shop and get hooked like me!
National Geographic Atlas Puzzles
I was sort of hoping that the discovery of these interactive jigsaw puzzles would help me in my goal to learn the US state capitals, and all the world capitals. Unfortunately they’re a little too small to show that much detail, but still incredibly addictive and very satisfying to complete.
You can change the default settings to give you more (smaller) pieces, and also to rotate them randomly on the board. In my opinion, this makes it way more fun.
And lastly…
Win a free bathroom! (But there’s a catch…)
Rotorooter is giving away a free bathroom, decked out with the latest technology. It’s great news, as long as you like your bathrooms so pink that it reminds you of Strawberry Shortcake vomit.
The bathroom, which is so pink that even Barbie thinks it’s a bit much, includes a Nintendo Wii, a Sony Vaio laptop, a flat screen TV that functions as both a monitor and a heated towel rack (totally swank), an iPod, a fridge (also pink), a salon-style hairdryer, a pedi kit, and subscriptions to your favorite magazines.
(via Wired)
Can I be the first to say that coffee shouldn’t be brewed next to the place that it’s, um, disposed of?
From today’s job interview…
Elizabeth February 20th, 2008
“Wow! I have never seen test results so high in the entire time that I have worked here.”
Cross your eyeballs for me!
Sermon of the year
Elizabeth February 19th, 2008
If you watch this, promise me you’ll watch it until the end. I would write more, but I’m speechless.
Thanks to Real Live Preacher.
