Elizabeth November 12th, 2008

After weeks of separation, Guy Ritchie has finally been reunited with his boys – but not without a long list of demands from his psycho ex. All evidence points to the fact that Madonna’s brain has short-circuited, resulting in this list.

The rules include:

- The children be able to talk to Madonna by phone three or four times a day at times set by her
- The couple’s separation not be discussed with the children
- The children be prevented from looking at newspapers, magazines, TV or DVDs
- They must only eat macrobiotic, vegetarian food with no processed or refined food
- Any water they drink, even if used to dilute organic juice, had to be Kabbalah water
- They only wear clothes sent by Madonna, but if something had to be bought, it should not contain man-made fibres
- They should not be bought any toys that are “spiritually or ethically unsound”
- Their hands must be regularly cleaned with disinfectant
- They must not to be photographed while with Ritchie or see his friends, particularly female ones
- At bedtime, Ritchie must only read The English Roses, a series of children’s books written by Madonna about “the five most fab young lasses in London”

If you can stomach any more of this, head to The Age.

I’d find this funny if it wasn’t so hypocritical. Thumbs down.

• Celebrities , WTF?
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