Elizabeth January 11th, 2009

It wasn’t clear to me at the time, but 2008 was a big year of personal growth for me. There have been times over the past 18 months where I have struggled to find my place in the world, especially with the loss of identity that came with leaving my old career behind and starting from scratch. It’s so good to feel grounded again.

My first job in Melbourne was a false start, but did serve a purpose in helping me to pay the bills and figure out what I did and didn’t want in my next role. I was proactive about seeking that next job, and was surprised to learn how valuable I really was in the market despite my lack of experience. The entire exercise was extremely empowering and helped me to see myself in a new light.

10 days after beginning my new job my team leader resigned. I found myself performing both roles until about 5 weeks later, when her replacement was found. All my training until then had been theoretical rather than practical, and I found myself with too many juggling balls and only two hands with which to keep them in the air. It was an exercise in keeping my head above water, but I did! And, to my great surprise, other people noticed and complemented me on the grace with which I managed it all.

It was thanks to this feedback that I eventually recognised I was doing more than “coping”, I was really performing – and all without the safety net of experience and training.

I haven’t excelled in all areas of my life this year, but that’s been part of the learning process too. I’ve discovered a great deal about the person I used to be, and the person I want to become. I’ve identified boundaries that needed setting, and values that speak to me in new ways.

I have found myself craving authenticity over perfection, and trusting nothing less.

It hasn’t always been a smooth ride. Right now, I am experiencing the ways in which my shifting priorities are affecting the relationships around me – for better and for worse. While I have my fair share of regrets and hindsight, I am mostly excited about the more enlightened me, and how that prepares me for the future.

In 2009 I believe I will reap the rewards of last year’s struggles and self-doubts. I’m less certain that ever about what’s ahead, but I’m ready to sink my teeth into whatever comes my way.

Everything’s going to be all right.

• Life
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