Elizabeth November 18th, 2009

Phillip Toledano is a photographer, born in London to an American father and a French Moroccan mother. He lives and works in New York City.

I’m sure I could devote many posts to his incredible fashion and editorial portfolio, which is full of clever and brave concepts that have been brilliantly executed with technical skill. But today I thought I’d share with you just one of his projects, Days with My Father.

Days with My Father is a powerful photo essay which documents the photographer’s final three years with his father. He begins with the following passage:

My Mum died suddenly on September 4th, 2006.

After she died, I realized how much she’d been shielding me from my father’s mental state.

He doesn’t have alzheimers, but he has no short-term memory, and is often lost.

I took him to the funeral, but when we got home he kept asking me every 15 minutes where my mother was. I had to explain over and over again, that she had died.

This was shocking news to him.

Why had no-one told him?
Why hadn’t I taken him to the funeral?
Why hadn’t he visited her in the hospital?

He had no memory of these events.

After a while, I realized I couldn’t keep telling him that his wife had died. He didn’t remember, and it was killing both of us, to constantly re-live her death.

I decided to tell him she’d gone to Paris, to take care of her brother, who was sick.

And that’s where she is now.

This is a journal.

An ongoing record of my father, and of our relationship.

For whatever days we have left together.

“My dad is an amazing storyteller…”

“I asked my father to look in the mirror, while I took his photograph…”

Sometimes, when we’re talking,

my dad will stop, and sigh,
and close his eyes.

It’s then that I know, that he knows.

About my mum.

About everything.

Days with My Father is compulsory viewing, and deserves far more than a summary on this little blog. I hope you’ll go and see if for yourself.

Phillip Toledano’s book “Days with My Father” will be published in June 2010. While you’re waiting, you can buy his other books Phonesex and Bankrupt at his site.

With thanks to Kit from That Unreliable Girl.

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