If you follow me on Twitter or Instagram (@scarletwords) you’ll already know about the tiny celebrity that we’ve been hosting for the past week. We’ve been looking forward to meeting this young man for months but like many we were nervous about his reputation for unpredictable outbursts.
During his stay we hoped to interview the 5 month old known as Archie, and ask him how he felt about his notoriety. Was there any connection between his nicknames (Fuzz Nut, Bubba Chubs, Drools Flannigan) and that stint in juvenile detention? Who is that mystery brunette he’s often photographed with? Any regrets about that Wiggles tattoo on his backside?
We were disappointed to discover that he was completely silent on these issues, and after our months of preparation his refusal to answer even one of our questions was a crushing blow.
So I suppose it was to be expected that when it came to the photo shoot Archie was just like any other celebrity on set. He showed up late and brought a sullen looking entourage. He also insisted on wearing his own absorbant underwear for the shoot (we couldn’t help but notice his compromised motor control on the day) and half way through the shoot he simply removed them entirely.
The crew decided to press on with the shoot despite Archie’s vulgar behaviour. These exclusive photos are a revealing account of one young man’s spiral of disgrace and disrepute.
After the shoot there were tantrums when he discovered that his sippy cup had not been filled with dew collected from the morning’s roses, as had been specified in his backstage rider. I guess somebody also forgot to remove the brown M&Ms from the bowl in his dressing room.
Disaster.
Thank God his manager was able to calm him down before he called in the lawyers.
Archie is my cousin’s latest masterpiece, and is actually a lovely little bundle of smiles and toes and wobbles. Auntie Liz misses that face very much, and hopes that he and his entourage come back very soon x
