Last Sunday was my birthday. It was a pretty quiet affair this year; a lazy day of breakfast in bed, thoughtful presents, lots of phonecalls, and a couple of hours with my doona and an excellent book. Outside the weather was rainy and cold which was exactly what we needed after our record-breaking heatwave. Tim took me to Nobu for dinner and we had an incredible night together, dressed to the nines. I even busted out the false lashes.
I was completely ready for thirty-two to be behind me, for reasons I’m not entirely able to explain. When I look back at my last year I have so much to be grateful for: an incredible holiday to the USA (and much longed-for quality time with Tim’s family), hitting new strides in my job, happy milestones for the people I love. It was a year of blessings.
But for me it was also a year for restlessness and sadness. There were some long stretches of time when I felt pretty low – not depressed, just lacking my usual resilience to the world. I felt the disappointments and unkindnesses more deeply during the past year, and found that it lowered my expectations of the people around me. I hurt my foot and quit my running, I stopped painting because I couldn’t remember how to do it.
So I’ve been feeling kind of lost. I’ve been treading water, waking up each day to go through the motions. I haven’t been nurturing the parts of me that are most important: my health and my passions.
Thirty-three feels like a chance to get my old self back.
If I need more from the people around me I am going to ask for it. I am going to ask more of myself and make sure that I finish each week better than I found it. There will be more time for friends and drawing and being outside – even if my foot won’t let me run. Food will be fuel, not feelings.
One thing I know about myself is that this blog is still a healthy, enriching thing for me. My blog doesn’t overwhelm or dictate my offline life, but the interactions I have here do so much to enhance it. I guess what I’m saying is that I love youuuse guyyys.
So tell me, what’s your secret for pulling yourself out of a slump? I could use a bit of a boost.