Help! Everything is terrible.

by Elizabeth on June 23, 2013 · 12 comments

in Life

harrycouch2 roses & coffee table
assignments harrycouch me
thumbsup coffee & chocolate bullshit

Are you an Instamagramming fool like me?  Find me at @elzxbth.


This is what my life looks like right now.  Except for that thumbs up – that was an exception.

Way back at the start of last year, right as I was writing up my list of goals for the next 1001 days, I was offered the opportunity to do some study through my workplace.  Government apprenticeship grants were available for the course I wanted to do, and with contributions from my employer it meant that I was able to undertake a $6000 course without any out of pocket expenses.  I had a couple of years to do the work, so there was no rush to get it started.

So I signed up for a Diploma of Management, intending to begin it towards the end of 2012.  But work got crazy, we threw in a big overseas trip… and before I knew it Christmas had arrived and I still didn’t have any of my course materials.  My contact at the training agency wasn’t returning my calls and it started to get a bit weird.  That should have been a warning that it wasn’t going to be smooth sailing.

As soon as the new school year commenced (that’s at the end of January, for the non-Aussies reading along) I got on the phone and relentlessly tracked down somebody who would answer my questions.  I was bounced around for weeks – the training centre hadn’t assigned me a coach, they were blaming paperwork holdups at Australian Apprenticeships, they were saying that my employer never sent in my paperwork and that there was no record of me at all.  Meanwhile, my HR person had proof of submission (and acknowledgement that it was received).

To cut a long story short, I didn’t get any of my course work until April.  My text books were delivered by one of the company Directors who informed me that my missing paperwork meant that all of their trainers were fully loaded and they couldn’t provide me with any one-on-one support.  And just to make sure that I was under as much pressure as possible, there was no government funding for my course after June 30.

So a course which would normally take a working person 18 months to complete now had to be done in 12 weeks, otherwise it would cost me $6000.


I could have backed out.  And truthfully, I really considered it because at the same time I was dealing with a brand new boss who needed my support more than ever.  I asked a lot of questions of the Director and left the meeting convinced that it was achievable, as long as I put my head down and worked hard.

What I hadn’t anticipated is that the course work is really, really badly written.  There are spelling mistakes and missing words which mean that some of the assessment questions are complete nonsense and impossible to answer.  For example, right now I am working on tasks 1-33 of a unit which contains only 32 tasks.  Is it a mistake, or was a decision made to remove a question from the assessment?  I don’t know because I don’t have a trainer.

So all I can do is keep evidence of everything I’m doing and trust that their evaluation of my work is as poorly executed as the training materials they’ve provided.  So much for actually wanting to learn something, I guess?

I’m just focusing on the piece of paper that I will receive at the end, and the fact that there’s only another 10 days to go until my final exam (which they’re backdating for the sake of my funding).  Of course, this means that there’s only another 10 days to go, and I still have so much to do.  Then again, I’ve already written about 20,000 words in the past couple of months, so what’s another few thousand at this point?


All this to say sorry for being so quiet around here this month, and that it won’t be long before things are back to normal.  In the meantime, I have a post sitting in my drafts that is full of juicy links from the stuff that other people have been writing during my down-time.  I’ll share it during the week, so that you know I’m still alive!

Leave me a comment and tell me something good?  Anything.  Make it up if you have to <3

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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Adele Banks June 23, 2013 at 5:15 pm

Blerg! The words ‘strategic plan’ make me cringe – I have started a new rotation in my graduate program, and it is filled with business jargon. I’m sorry you have to finish the course so quickly, but I am sure that you will nail it!


Elizabeth June 24, 2013 at 9:51 pm

When I am Prime Minister I will put an end to all jargon. I feel your pain! x


inthelaboratory June 23, 2013 at 9:19 pm

Hey! Look at how much you’ve already done! And when it’s all over you can pick something from your list that is SUPER CRAZY FUN.

I don’t have a list of 1001 things, but I have a mental list of things I need/want to do before I graduate uni next year. So my good news is that I found myself a bird ringing trainer and hopefully by next year I should be on my way to being licensed to ring birds on my own. Its going to be hard work, but I know it’ll be worth it when it’s over.



Elizabeth June 24, 2013 at 10:03 pm

So first of all I had to google bird ringing, which sent me down a really fun rabbit hole of cool science stuff that I didn’t know anything about. So thank you – despite my terrible course materials, I DID learn something!

Best of luck with your training! And that’s good advice to reward myself with a fun task from my list – I should make a short list x


Marie Madden Cuozzo June 23, 2013 at 10:08 pm

Oh Liz – that all sounds terribly stressful!! I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you that you make it through the next 10 days and come out the other side with a sense of relief and some positive energy. In the “tell you something good” category, we are getting a new kitten at the end of this month, so Kismet will have a pal when we’re gone in January. His name most likely will be Fabio… haha! Love you!!


Elizabeth June 24, 2013 at 10:07 pm

Oh hey, look who reads my blog! I’d better watch what I say about the in-laws hey? 😉

Fabio is the most hilarious name for a cat, I love it. He must be very handsome. Are you rescuing him, or were you looking for a buddy for Kismet?

Poor Biscuit will have so many bosses! xxx


Marie Madden Cuozzo June 25, 2013 at 10:05 am

He’s coming from a shelter that John has been volunteering at – so a rescue of sorts, but with the goal of being a buddy for Kismet. Let’s hope the two of them don’t team up against Biscuit!


Mrs. B June 23, 2013 at 11:59 pm

Wow, that sounds crazy and intense! Hope you can get it finished and life can return to ‘normal’ soon! I have to say your 3 facts on Jessica Lynn’s blog made me crack up, a bus for real?! Sounds like the excitement is never far from you ;p


Elizabeth June 24, 2013 at 10:08 pm

Yeah, a bus. A really big one. Not so funny at the time (I had bad whiplash and couldn’t use my arm for 5 months) but it does make for a pretty good story!


Cara June 25, 2013 at 1:53 am

Whenever I walk out of some of the meetings at work I have to watch this:


Elizabeth June 25, 2013 at 11:47 am

I showed that video to my boss recently. Isn’t it perfect?
Meetings are only good for playing buzzword bingo and writing shopping lists.


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