Task #7 of my 101 Things in 1001 Days project is: Complete my Diploma of Management
If you have the misfortune to be following me on Twitter or Instagram (@elzxbth) you are probably sick to death of hearing about my dumb diploma. One of the nasty side-effects of this study has been my slow transformation into that boring old uncle who tells the same stories at every family get-together and has no idea that there is spinach stuck in his teeth. You know that guy – he’s always invited due to family guilt, but one by one all the guests leave to go “help in the kitchen” until the only one left listening is your cousin’s super-polite girlfriend.
Yeah, that was me.
I guess this is my way of saying I’m sorry, Twitter. I’m so sorry, Instagram. I have been a bore. I have been your online Uncle Walter. I have dragged you into weeks and weeks of study-rage, snark and forced you to witness a complete catalogue of my poor nutritional decisions. I am so sorry for giving you diabetes.
I wrote a post last week about why this whole experience has been shitty. Ordinarily a diploma is no big deal, but then most people don’t try to cram the whole thing into 11 weeks. Most people actually meet their trainer prior to their final assessment. And I guess I can’t speak for everyone here, but I’m going to go ahead and assume that most people don’t have to deal with the same poorly-written course material that I found myself wading through. My “trainer” even acknowledged by that some of the questions I was trying to answer didn’t make sense because part of the questions were straight-up missing.
But hey, I’m writing this because I got through it. Last Friday I sat my final exam, and my trainer spent a couple of hours with me while we went through all the work I had done. 39,000 words, 270 pages (about half a ream of paper), 10 projects and a fully budgeted and researched $500,000 marketing campaign for the RSPCA. I learned some stuff about continuous improvement and OHS that I didn’t already know, and I got to flex my photoshop muscles to make a bunch of ads for tram stops, buses and magazines.
It had its moments.
This weekend I began recovering from the PTSD caused by sitting at my dining table for 12 hour stretches. I’ve had a weekend of sleep-ins, catching up on laundry and losing myself in Animal Crossing. And also? Possibly the funniest impulse purchase ever; it absolutely deserves its own post.
I’m so freaking happy to be crossing this off my list. For all my bitching over the past couple of months, it’s actually pretty great to know that this piece of paper is on its way to me. It might even mean an extra $20,000 when I next job-hunt, so it was worth the short-term pain to just get it done.
And it’s DONE!
I promise I’ll shut up about it now.