Elizabeth February 26th, 2008

Remember a few weeks ago, when Sarah Silverman was a guest on Jimmy Kimmel’s show? She used the opportunity to announce that she was cheating on him with Matt Damon, and the resulting video became hugely popular on YouTube.

Here’s the clip, in case you missed it:

Jimmy finally responded on his post-Oscars show last night. Some of the cameos in this video are awesome, but I think Brad Pitt and McLovin probably top the list.

As soon as a non-bleeped version appears on YouTube I’ll update this post, but until then it’s mostly “safe for work”.

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Elizabeth January 23rd, 2008

Heath Ledger is dead. It’s so unexpected, although so much has come to light over the past 12 hours about his recent personal struggles. It really goes to show how little we know about the private lives of celebrities, even in this age of blogging and instant “news”.

But whatever his state of mind, I find it hard to believe that there was anything deliberate or sinister about his death. He was sick with pneumonia when he died, had a history of sleeping difficulties, and was found with a bottle of sleeping pills on his nightstand. His death is all the more tragic because it appears to have been so accidental.

I’ve probably read a bit too much commentary on this news today, but it’s also been pretty hard to avoid. The whole situation is so sad, and I am truly sorry that we will never see his potential as an actor realised.

On a related note…

I’m normally pretty forgiving of Britney Spears and all her faults, but today I’m angry with her. A talented actor and father lost his life today because of one careless mistake, and as a result his little girl will never know him. Britney needs to get her shit together before her own two babies find themselves without a mother. I don’t care if it’s hard, or if rehabilitation takes time, this bullshit needs to end.

Amy Winehouse can screw up her life as much as she wants for all I care, as long as she doesn’t bring children into it. It’s time for Britney to realise that her life belongs to those little boys now. If she continues to make a joke of her messy life I will lose all respect for her. For good.

Maybe Britney’s state of mind is somewhat justified by the pressure placed on her by the media, but that doesn’t absolve her of responsibility to get it under control. She has the time and money to move out of LA and away from the cameras, to treat her addictions and to get professional help to manage her mental instability. All of this is achievable.

To do anything less is a slap in the face to people like little Matilda Ledger, and the other people that Heath has left behind.

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Elizabeth December 21st, 2007

Poor kid. And Britney too - she looks like she needs a big hug and a long rest from her life.

Girls, if you’re reading (and I know you are), get in touch ok? I have a spare room, and a Playstation 3. We can play Singstar in our PJ’s and brush each others’ hair.

Especially yours, Britney.

Call me.

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Elizabeth December 16th, 2007

Source

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Elizabeth December 3rd, 2007

I hope the person who took this photo sold it for millions and millions of dollars. This is one of the best celeb photos ever taken.

Tom’s nose. Discuss.

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Elizabeth November 3rd, 2007

I found today’s news about Ian Smith quitting Neighbours very distressing. In fact, I’m not even sure it’s legal. Surely once you’ve been on Australian TV screens for 30 years, you’re not allowed to stop without the unanimous consent of its citizens? Am I right? Of course I am.

I am appalled, and I feel betrayed. If Neighbours can go on without Harold, then what sort of a world are we living in? Can we even be certain that the sky is blue anymore, or is that just another elaborate hoax that we’ve been fed to distract us from the big issues?

I’m cranky, so just watch this damn video. It even contains the legendary Haaaaaa-roooooold Madge scene.

We’ll miss you, Harold. Ian Smith for PM.

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Elizabeth September 19th, 2007

I am not kidding when I say that I will be ripping this to mp3 and putting it on my ipod.

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Elizabeth September 15th, 2007

OK, so that title came out sounding dirtier than I intended. But if you haven’t seen Chris Crocker’s Leave Britney Alone! Youtube video, you absolutely need to. And then come back and see Seth Green’s impersonation!

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Elizabeth September 12th, 2007

I imagine that one of the downsides to being famous is attracting fans like these. You’ve got to watch it right to the end, it just gets better and better.

For what it’s worth, I’m Team Britney myself. Yes, she’s lost her mind… but I want to see her pull her shit together and succeed. I don’t consider this breakdown as the end of her “story”, although I worry that all the media pressure and ridicule could cause her to write a premature ending, if you get my drift.

Can’t we just go back to hating KFed for a while? Why aren’t we focusing our negativity on him all of a sudden?

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Elizabeth September 7th, 2007

I will finally share a room with her on Monday night, but until then I have YouTube. And this little gem is one of the cutest songs she’s ever written

When I was 21 do you think I had a bag of cocaine in my car?
If I did, if I did
You’d never know it, no
You’d never know it because it would have been hidden.
‘Coz I’m not stupid.

But why are so many 21-year-old millionaires so stupid?
Stupid and cute,
But stupid? I don’t know…

Let’s just say when i was 26, or 7, or 8
And if i was a millionairess, what would i have done?
Many naughty things,
Many many many naughty things,
But i would have had a driver.

‘Coz i’m not stupid, no
I’m not stupid, no
Not that stupid, anyway…

‘Coz if i had been naughty
(I like being naughty)
But I haven’t been caught so far
And I am almost forty-four
Forty-four,
And I have done many many many many bad things.
But they are hidden inside my mmm-mmm,
Inside my mmm-mmm
So there’s no record or no fingerprints on it

‘Coz I’m not stupid,
‘Coz I’m not stupid
No, not stupid.

Tori for President.

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Elizabeth January 28th, 2007

News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from his wife Heather Mills-McCartney. Mrs Mills-McCartney is said to be distraught over the split. “He has been my crutch for so long”! She said in an earlier briefing, “I have no idea why this has happened, I’m really stumped”

“She’s running around in circles”, according to a close friend, “she will need all the support she can get. It’s not like it’s easy for her to walk out on a relationship like this”

It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to the marriage. Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world, and if an agreement has been signed it is believed that she won’t have a leg to stand on.

Rumours abound over the split, which have suggested that infidelity may have been the cause. “She’s terrible” a source stated, “always trying to get her leg over”.

Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the cause. “Macca couldn’t handle it anymore” a friend said, “he would get home at night and find her legless”

Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present that Paul bought her prior to the wedding. He gave her a new prosthetic leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler.

A miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg. He says to his mate “I’m f—-ed, who will want a one legged gold digger?” His mate says, “try Paul McCartney”

Finally a poem by Sir Paul McCartney:
I lay upon a grassy bank
My hands were all a quiver
I slowly removed her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river.

(It’s a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes about her false leg. Personally, I think it’s prosthetic.)

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